From mouth, come the inner most being of my heart. A heart that shouts “Hallelujah”! That shouts over and over, exclamation-marks with every breath, howling in riveting reverence, PRAISE THE LORD!!
This offer of praise has been silenced, for some time, by the gnawing feeling that I need to take control of my own destiny, that I need to step out on my own and be what God intended me to be. I decided to take control of my life-wheel and steer how I believed it should be. Certainly, it should be sacred work, for I am doing it for the One.
But the works felt dead and painstaking, like climbing a mountain with tap-dancing shoes. Sitting with that amazing ‘HALLELUJAH’ in my lungs, I was reminded of a powerful message from one of our epic fellowships at Lewende Woord Midrand – God prepped our good works for us, even before time came into existence, Eph 2:8-10. Oh, my dear friends, this is an incredible, reassuring gift that he lavishes upon His children. Do you realise that it is God who created you, establishes you, direct you, and greatly BLESS you… but wait for it, WHEN you FEAR HIM alone?
In stopping this morning to talk to God, He directed my thoughts to Ps 112:1. When I read this a few times, in a few translations, allowing to soften my mind in the truth that oozed out of this tone setting, life changing verse, God’s Word resonated in my mind and rang several bells in a few different areas of my life. DON’T let your idea of what God want from you become bigger than the One who created you and prepared your purpose.
It also resonated in such a way that I immediately felt a bit embarrassed of the way I was trying to live God, shovelling along on my own terms, with an eye on the reward instead of the Rewarder. The fear gradually started to show in my demeanour and my own freakiness drafted along like the breath of a homeless drunk. It is not a good place when you try to control God’s plans, instead of trusting Him unreservedly. When you hurry your own plans along, it only leads to selfish outcomes.
Reflecting in the current peace-filled mind that only the Holy Spirit can provide, I am looking back and realising that I have given a gap for me to boast or take credit for attempting God’s works on my own tune. I was starting to dip out of a humble reverence of God’s majesty, and I immediately started to fall apart from the inside. I felt empty, and I know now that this feeling was the warning sign.
Fear leads to pain, the FEAR of the Lord lead to Blessings.
Even in the waiting God has a way of testing your spiritual wits, making sure that you are ready for the breakthrough. Remember there are greater things happening in the realm that is real but unseen, and therefor our hope should always be in the completeness of Jesus’ resurrection.
Top tip for today – find new ways of worshipping and praising God. Like starting a journal in an old vacant workbook that is lying around the house. Unexpected actions lead to surprising consequences.
Try my heart, oh Lord and test my intentions and my reasons? Bring a mirror in front of my heart and dissect my purposes, is it mine or is it YOURS?
